I am the mum who rocks up to a kid’s party with damp hair.
Yep that’s me, the mum who hates being late but somehow in getting everyone else sorted I never have enough time to make sure I am ready. Well that and the fact I barely have enough spoons to make it to a kid’s party let alone blow dry my hair and look like one of those television mums with perfect hair and makeup. But I do my best, I put on some make up and I try and make my hair look like anything other than the fact I spent 2 mins on it. I do my best and sometimes my best means making sure I manage to take my son to the kids party so he doesn’t miss out even if that means I look less than well manicured.
So today with my ‘windswept’ look I turned up, l made small talk with people I didn’t know, I hid my pain and I put on some lip gloss so I didn’t look pale and sickly. I managed to help my son bowl and laughed as he did his little dance when he hit the pins, I watched him play with his friends and enjoy life without a care in the world. I looked around and realised as much as I give myself a hard time I am doing a good job. My son is healthy and happy and well adjusted, he has compassion and is caring and full of life. I looked around at other parents who without chronic health conditions seem to struggle even more. Their kids don’t have the same characteristics, now I know every child is different but I think the silver lining to being a parent with chronic illness is that our kids see another side to life. As much as we try and shield them from the pain and suffering the upside of what they do see is they have compassion and kindness.
My son picks me flowers and makes me pictures or crafts when I am not well, he is gentle and sweet and rubs my head to comfort me as I do him. I have no doubt he will grow to be an amazing man, husband and father. Do I wish things were different and he wasn’t exposed to this life? To be honest I am not sure, he is a product of the life I have and the journey we have had to have him in our life. As much as I would love to not be in pain and be a super mum who can run in the park with him I am not sure I would change the rest of it.
As long as you are doing your best, as long as you love your child and you do all you can to be a good parent, you nurture them, you teach them and you show them what is important in life then give yourself a giant pat on the back and tell yourself “Good Job”. Don’t compare yourself to other parents or even the picture perfect version of yourself you think you have to be, just show up, be present and be you, after all that’s all your child wants from you and that’s enough. In their eyes you are a superhero!